Just being me.

Deep concerns...

well...had a rough day yesterday...God says He never puts us in situations that are too tough for us to handle. I do believe that, but after yesterday, it kinda seemed almost a broken promise....but God does keep his promises. In times of suffering, it is so easy to lose sight of God and that He REALLY IS by YOUR side all the time, but it is in these times where our faith in God is being tested. And I do believe that after overcoming these challenges, it will take me to a higher level of spiritual maturity. actually, this battle has already been won, juz that God has yet to show me how. ok, enough of these, really digressing. I always get too carried away when I'm rambling....tend to get too worked up.
ANYWAY, had a great breakfast juz now with my parents...dun wanna take them for granted. i do treasure the times we spend together. they tell me there needs to be more two-way and open communication between us but its just so hard to do. they also observed that i am not so quiet to my friends and colleagues but its not the same with them.
I wonder why too. Actually i have a theory; perhaps its my fear of them which has been infused into me since young. i've always been treated the "best" by them since young, leading a pretty sheltered life, and plus, i've been a pretty good girl all my life. One reason being treated well is because i am the eldest. and i am a pretty submissive person, but a stubborn one too, and that puts me at a disadvantage when dealing with my dad cos he has a fiery temper and u dun really want to talk back to him in those moments. and when i try to reason, it always seem to him that i'm being defensive so its so difficult to convey my true feelings to him. bah....he always says i dun wanna open my mouth. what about him, does he knows that he's being very controlling? so when i shut my mouth in fear/worry that he'll accuse me of being defensive, he says i'm too quiet. darn.

posted by ah choy @ 11:48 AM