Just being me.

Dilemna. Helplessness. Goodbye?

Ok. Warning to people who are reading this right now. Its gonna be a long and dreary post so do be prepared.

Thank you for making me feel so at home at CHC. Thank you for walking with me in my spiritual walk with God this past 7 months. Thank God that I have so many spirit-filled Brotherss and Sisters-in-Christ who care about me. I truly had a great and awesome time in CHC in the past half a year or so. Being in CHC made me realise that for the first time in my life, I had a purpose and direction in my life. Having a relationship with God seemed to fill this void in my heart/soul/spirit. And I began to believe that God has planted me in CHC for a reason, that i belonged to CHC. Its an unexplainable feeling.

But, much as I feel that way, the current situation has made me stop in my tracks and forced me to ponder about the next step that I should take. Is this because of my lack of faith in God? There seems to be no way that my parents will allow me to go back to CHC. So is going to another church a sign that i have a lack of faith, taking the easy way out? But, much as I want to have my way, I can't because the consequences I face with my family is too hard for me to bear. The fact is that the relationship I've built with my parents over the years have made it difficult for my parents to accept the fact that I had placed God first in my life.God says he never puts us in situations too hard for me to bear. I want to believe that God is right. But He seems so distant from me now, that its so hard to believe He will carry me out of this situation.

My cell group member once said to me that it is entirely my choice to make. And I fully agree with her on that. Well, looks like i'll make the decision of my life soon.

Its goona be soooo hard to let go....Oh God....someone...anyone....rescue me.

posted by ah choy @ 2:00 PM