sense of accomplishment
it has been a tiring week....no less. though we are "simply" marking scripts after scripts, our brain juices are used up pretty quickly because of the nature of marking. you have to make sure and be extra careful that correct marks are awarded, and to ensure fairness in your marking at all times. discernment and fairness being keywords here. but thankfully my ASM was no other than mr salim, my ex-teacher from cz....he's the cool jack. he's always cool as cucumber, never panics and definitely not a gan-cheong spider. really admire him for that. also, the markers at my table were all very easy to get along with, very fun and crazy bunch. nice to work with. there was never a dull moment. of course, needless to say, i was the youngest of the lot and they could so easily see through that. i mean is the word "young" written all over my face?? haha.... so yup. ASM gave us each a box of biscuits from cocoa trees, and the chief marker came to personally thank us for our hard work. that was quite unexpected cos my fellow markers said that it hasn't happened before. glad to know we are appreciated. :) nice to work under males....really. :P
the csm mentioned something about why the psle marking cannot be outsourced and i totally agree with him. i mean how on earth should marking be outsourced when it can be done by the teachers themselves? though it is time-consuming, but i think it's a necessary thing that comes with the job.
so yeah, i feel accomplished not only because of the 780 odd scripts i've marked, also because i assembled a shower curtain rod today. had to get the rod, curtain and curtain rings from ikea. altogether, they cost less than 20 bucks. i was quite impressed and proud of myself...haha. now i don't have to carry and move the bloody glass door from side to side everytime i wanna shower.
but this also means that school will resume in about 60 hours' time and it will be chiong all the way to the finish line. gotta write remarks for the class! eeks...
raring to go
well, thank goodness this coming week is psle marking week. at least i can take a breather before the final sprint to the finish line with my kiddos. feeling much better now, all the emo-ness has passed...feeling smiley now. haha. so looking forward to outing tomorrow at ecp. cycling and the sun!! so fun!! :)
thanks to all concerned friends who were there to lend me a listening ear.
i'm melancholic
yeah i think i'm beginning to be like james blunt whose songs are always about sad stuff. i find his son "tears and rain" pretty apt now.
i just read my cousin's blog and i think we're pretty much going through some tough stuff in our lives right now. i've cried buckets of tears and i don't know when its ever going to stop. like her, i feel like a failure. i'm like a pack of damaged goods. watched too much of grey's anatomy i guess. but yeah, i guess i have to ride it out and waith till i get out of this dark valley that i'm in.
why am i so screwed and emotional?
score time
so i've just watched man utd beat wigan 4-0 and england beat aus 12-10 in rugby. i expected man utd to win, but didn't expect a big margin. but it was an impressive 2nd half play from them. :)
england vs aus...i must say i had already written england off judging from the way they played in the group matches. today i saw a lot of grit and consistent play from them. they put pressure on australia and must say that the wallabies' defence wasn't good. they made a lot of mistakes. niether was wilkinson with his penalty kicks. but still, kudos to england for displaying grit and determination to win this match. well done guys. :)
happy thoughts
in a bid to neutralize the unhappy posts in this blog, i shall write about some happy stuff here. :)
like did you know my mum makes the most delicious mango sticky rice? with thai mangoes! no less. heehee. yummy!!
i love passionfruit milk tea. just had some just now to make myself happy. its friday after all.
bread pudding and carrot cake baked by my mum this week has to be the best so far. perfect for our taste buds.
although i have a kid who is spastic because he survived meningitis as a baby, he has the most genuinely happy smile i have seen in any child. he's the most cheerful, happy-go-lucky child. doesn't take much to make him laugh.
i'm blessed to have wonderful friends and colleagues....family who loves me.
what more could i ask for?
drowning on land
i.need.to.breathe.
Just to remind everyone that this blog is an avenue for me to vent my frustrations and anger. That's because i can't seem to find anyone appropriate in my phonebook to whine and complain to. so just spare me.... i know you're all concerned but i really just need this outlet to vent.
i guess nobody can claim that he or she understands what i'm going through because you have not had
those words said into your face. do you know how demoralising is that? so many things have happened in the span of 4 months (3 months of teaching) i think i can feel a whole book with it.
i've cried a bucket of tears....and just thinking about it just wants to make me tear up again. gosh. why am i such an emotional/sensitive person. argh..
why do i seem to attract the weirdest parents? the ones who are cowardly? i really don't get it. and i thought i had seen it all when i was in wsps.
but i'd like to think i have matured. at least i didn't retort/blast at the person who sent/wrote the horrible/hurtful sms. i waited 3 whole hours before i replied. and i had to swallow my pride while typing the apology. "they are our clients so we have to
serve them. they are always right." i was glad i could laugh about it with my colleagues.. sort of eased my tension a little.
but this 3 months have really stretched me and tested the strength of my character to my limits. i'm beginning to think long and hard about this
calling of mine. i guess i just have to constantly remind myself why i choose to teach in the first place.
doubts
i've just been called unreasonable and
almost incompetent.
i don't know what to do anymore.
i'm going bonkers.
i've had it up to here man. need to learn to be more detached from my emotions.
